Seven

When I wake up, it is early morning, just after dawn. I am in my bed with the covers over me even. I have no idea how I ended up like this. Something happened last night, but I can't remember what. Did someone come? What was I doing?


Whatever it was, it is unnatural for everything to be so normal after such a night.


Unless, of course, it was just a dream.


But if felt way too real to be just a dream. Or do all dreams just feel like that?


Something clicks in my mind and an image appears in my mind. It disappears after a brief second, and I'm left to wonder what I just saw.


It looked like...a cloud. However it did not look like a typical cloud. Something about its shape and color. Those were deffinately off. It resembled something else, but I couldn't see what.

Massaging my temples, trying to make sense of what happened, I decide staying in bed will not help me figure out anything.

I slowly pull the covers off of me and tiptoe almost silently out of my room. Holding my breath while walking past my brother's room, I notice his door is open. I steal a glance and notice everything is a mess, more than usual. Maybe something really did happen. Daniel himself is sprawled across is bed. Visibly, he does not look okay at all. But his sonorous snoring signals he's completely fine.

As I walk around, I notice everything is the way it was when I last saw it the night before. There are still unwashed pots in the kitchen sink. A surprisingly neat pile of books lies near a chair. The pictures hung on the wall are still intact. Nothing is missing or broken that wasn't before.

Maybe it really was all just a dream.


I wonder...


I walk calmly back to my room, knowing that my brother is too knocked out to be woken up. I change into clean clothes and slip on a pair of sandals. Within a minute I am out the door.

.

It is still extremely early, and I have nowhere to go. It is colder than I expected, even though I am wearing a hooded zip-up sweater. My jeans only go down to just above my knee.

Another unusual thing happens. The cold doesn't bother me anymore.


I mean, it's still cold. I can feel it. But I am not shivering. Within a few moments of being outside, I have adjusted to the temperature. That never happened before. It feels like...I'm used to being like this.


I wonder...


.

Without knowing it, I find myself walking briskly to the lighthouse again. It is the only place I can even think of to go at this time. There are some early fishermen and crew members of ships, preparing to set sail, but otherwise, there is no one else around. Alice, Jane, and Mary would deffinately not even be awake.

It's no wonder alone and lonely are so similar words.

Sitting in my usual spot, I lean my head back to look up at the sky. The clouds today are thin and they stretch across the sky. It's as if a painter took his brush and just decided to paint a large strokes over the earth. The full moon is still out, but unlike last night it is uncovered and gleaming at this part of the world.

A breeze from the ocean gracefully flows into my lungs. I can even taste the salt in the air. I feel relaxed but have no need to rest.

Yet I should take advantage of this moment. Summer is disappearing too fast. In only a few weeks, I will be returning to school with those familiar strangers and distant friends. The warm days will be replaced by cooler ones and mornings sitting here will be traded for mad dashes to class on time.


I feel like any other kid who dislikes school. But there's something more. Every kid also has something to look forward too. Maybe it's seeing their friends again, or replacing the boredom of sitting at home with the boredom of sitting in class. There are even some who like learning. But for me, I can't think of anything I would want to see there again. Friends? Who are they to me? Who am I to them? Boredom? I'd take lazy afternoons over homework anyday. Learning?


I have to ponder on that one for a moment. Learning is something I want to do. I want to know more. However, school doesn't exactly answer the questions I am trying to figure out.


Again, I try to focus my mind on last night. What happened? I can't remember. It would be normal if it were a dream I suppose. Apparently most people don't remember those. However, every other dream I've had, I do remember. Even from my early childhood, I can see them in mind whenever I want to.


It's everything else about my life I can't remember. All I remember is coming to this town, and my brother. Me, my brother, and Harbourtown, and the people living in Harbourtown. It has only been two years since I have lived here, and two years of my life is all I know of.


I never even knew what parents were until one day when I saw a little boy walking hand in hand with those he called 'Mommy' and 'Daddy'. Alice was with me that day.


"What a adorable boy! Look at him running to his parents." She smiled and I did too, not knowing how to make sense of that statement.

Only after Jane asked me about my parents is when I asked Daniel about it.

She was discussing how noisy hers were. She went on and on with complaints about them. Alice and Mary would either laugh or show agreement with her. Everyone had a story about their mother or father. When it came to me, I just said it was just me and my brother.

"What about your parents?" Jane asked.


I just shrugged. It was quiet for a long time afterwards.


That night at dinner, I talked to Daniel about it. He hesitated before saying anything, looking at the soup we had made, swirling his spoon around in it.


"They're far away right now." is all he said before he went back to eating. I didn't say anything else, and the whole meal was eaten in silence.


After a week, I became more curious. I annoyed Daniel with all types of questions about our past.


"Where did we live before Harbourtown?" I blurted one day when Daniel was washing dishes.


"What?" he replied, a little surprised. He paused for a little while, not knowing what to say, I guess. Then he tried to laugh. "You don't remember?" A forced smile came across his face.


I shook my head. "I don't remember anything."


"Anything, huh."


"Not before this town."


He didn't seem particularly surprised this time. He just continued to rinse the plate in his hands. It was as if that was the answer he was expecting.

"Maybe we should see a doctor," he suggested.


"Hmm?" A doctor? I thought, why?


"It could be some kind of...mental...condition I guess," he proposed. "Maybe you had amnesia."


"Why can't you tell me?" I asked.


"Look, right now, I think we should focus on you," he said, changing the subject. "I'll call a hospital and ask for an appointment this week, okay?"

Disappointed, I nodded solemnly and went to my room. For some reason, that answer did not feel comfortable with me. If amnesia was really the reason behind my lack of memories, why did that go unsaid until now? How come Daniel wasn't more concerned with that? More importantly, why did Daniel act so weird whenever I asked about something from the past? He would always close up and wait for a while before he gave me an answer, which in the end, wasn't really an answer. It was some kind of excuse. It felt like he was avoiding something, or hiding something from me.


The doctors appointment did not come for another six months. Daniel had tried to act like he didn't remember it, probably hoping I would forget it.

.

To this day, I still do not know anything of my past. When my friends ask me, I either shrug or make up something. They know that they've lived here their entire lives or they might have lived somewhere else at one point. I am different from them all, even my skin color is darker than theirs. Daniel suggested that we have a different heritage than they. His answers are never certain...